Grief & Loss After the Election

After the historic election of 2016, where underdog businessman Donald Trump upset Hillary Clinton for the presidency of the United States, many people are in distress. There have been large anti-Trump protests of thousands of people in major cities across the country chanting, “Not my president.”

Large groups of people were grieving yesterday, trying to come to terms with the failure to elect the first woman president. How do you cope with grief and loss after a contentious election like this?

People are upset and we can detect their dismay through analytics on the traffic to Psych Central. Traffic to our 5 Stages of Grief & Loss page was up over 210 percent the day after the election. It is trending higher today as well, as more and more people try and cope with the loss they feel.

Our most popular page today is the article I wrote the day before the election, Healing After the Election.

A loss can be a devastating, frustrating, and even scary experience. We all experience loss in our lives, but few of us have ever experienced the kind of loss that happened on election day. Not only did the country elect an “outsider” — someone with no political experience whatsoever — but they rejected a seasoned politician who would’ve been the first female leader of our nation.

Women seem to be experiencing the loss more strongly than most men. This may be partially due to the historical significance of electing the first woman president. But it’s probably also due to the deeply offensive attitudes, behaviors, and words expressed by the president-elect, Donald Trump, throughout his life. To live under a Trump presidency is downright scary to many, many women (and some men as well).

Stages of Grief & Coping with Loss

Coping with a loss like this will not be easy for many people. But make no mistake about it — this is a significant loss for many people, just as significant as losing a pet, a job, or a relationship.1 Going through the five stages of grief takes time, so you should be patient with yourself (or a loved one) as you give yourself time to experience what this means to you and your life:

1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

People who are grieving do not necessarily go through the stages in the same order or experience all of the stages.

It may also help to disengage from news on social media, and political updates in general for a few days. Take a social media or news mini-vacation; you won’t miss much and it’ll help you recover from the political overload so many of us are feeling today. And remember, you can’t trust everything you read online. For instance, Facebook has such a large and serious problem with fake news websites, it’s not clear Facebook can be trusted to deliver any type of accurate news stories any longer.

Some people find that action helps address the grief that they feel. If that’s the case, join a peaceful protest or write down what you’re feeling in a journal or blog. Talk to others who share your point of view in a safe, private environment, so that your words won’t be misunderstood or used against you in the future.

Healing from the election and this political process will come in due time. But it will take time, for all of us, to heal fully from what we as a nation just went through. Let’s be patient with one another so that we can come together again one day, as a country united.

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Rwandan is Miss Tourim East Africa UK

Girls’ rights are equivalent to human rights and need to be taken care of,” says Sandra Kabeja, the winner of Miss Tourism East Africa UK 2008. Sandra, 19, from Rwanda trounced the other seven East African beauties to win Miss Tourism East Africa UK 2008 held recently at the University College of London.

And it was not only beauty that was put to the test; contestants also had to prove their mental worth. “I feel proud and greater things are yet to come,” Sandra says in an e-mail to Sunday Times from London.

In July Sandra will represent the region and showcase East African culture and tourism at this year’s Miss Tourism Planet International, in Athens, Greece, where she will compete against thirty other contestants.

“I am just excited about the Greece event and I am looking forward to meeting the other international contestants with whom I will share the beauty and culture of Rwanda,” Sandra adds.

Sandra always dreamt of competing in a beauty pageant and used to practice her catwalk in the mirror. She loved the attention she got from her friends and family who always encouraged her to be a model.

“I want to become a voice to voiceless and be a role model to society,” Sandra says. She was born in Mulago Hospital, Uganda to Jean and Patricia Kabeja. She is the fourth in a family of five; three boys and two girls.

Sandra completed Northside Primary and Compton Technology College - both in London. She is currently a student at the prestigious University of the Arts London where she reads public relations in the hope of graduating into the internal communications sector of PR.

She says she has already gained excellent communication skills and hopes to use these skills as a platform to proclaim the outstanding beauty and rich culture of Rwanda beyond its borders.

Participating in Miss Tourism East Africa UK race has provided Sandra an opportunity to boost tourism for Rwanda.

After attaining her degree, Sandra hopes to start her own public relations company which she will use as a platform for public speaking appearances, character development lessons and event planning.

“I want to be a role model to all the young East African women living in Diaspora and to teach them that beauty and intelligence are not mutually exclusive,” she adds.

Growing and studying in a diverse and multicultural city London, Sandra says, has helped her to adopt different cultures and learn the importance of embracing her Rwandan heritage and the need for intercultural understanding.

Rwandans in UK describe Sandra as an independent, strong willed and determined young woman. She says her victory is for all Rwandans because she will use her position to spread awareness in the UK of what Rwanda has to offer and inevitably focus on changing the negative stereotypes of Rwanda as the country which had the Genocide.

She intends to spread the message of empowerment and independence to all the East African women and also wants to spread the awareness of HIV/ Aids disease.

Crowning Miss Sandra at the Saturday’s event in London, the President of Miss Tourism Planet International, Georges Kututias said: “This girl has a high potential. She has the opportunity to travel the world”.

Kututias described her as positive, independent, strong willed young woman, who always wants to spread the message of empowerment and independence to all other young women in the society.

“We potentially have the next Naomi Campbell in Sandra. I told her so the first day I met her,” Ignatius Mugabo of The Rwandan Community Association in London said of Sandra.

Sandra says she loves children, positive individuals and giving back through volunteer work. “I get touched when I see people suffer. The plight of street children in Africa should be addressed,” Sandra says.

“Sometimes I get angry. Poverty and corruption that is embedded in our beautiful continent make me angry,” she adds.

Asked what she would carry on an island, Sandra replies: “I would carry an iPod to listen to my favourite music and laptop with internet access in order to get access to the news in the world.”

Sandra enjoys travelling and learning different cultures. The Genocide was her saddest moment in life. She lost friends, family members including her grandfather. She says Africa is for all Africans, saying those practising xenophobia in South Africa should stop.

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Do you know King Kong?

The question is actually, do you know the gorillas? I am sure you do. In Rwanda we do have gorillas in the North western part of the country, on the border with DRC and Uganda, In a park called Birunga. The particularity with Rwandan Gorillas, is that they are the only one of their specie remaining on earth. A specie of gorillas called Silver back, from the silver color of their back. Gorillas is a very big touristic attraction , in Rwanda. The reason why i am posting a message about king kong is simple; Every year the ORTPN which is the Rwandan office of tourism , organises an event called "KWITA AMAZINA" which means "NAMING CEREMONY".

This ceremony is attended by various personalitys choose names for new born baby gorillas. Have you ever seen a baby gorilla? No? It is so cute you can't imagine. Anyway, Silver back Gorillas are not only a beauty of Rwanda their are also an endangered specie that deserves e to be protected, And the least i can do is to post this message about these wonderfull creatures. If you are near Rwanda, It is starting soon, see you there :)

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And the MISS CAMPUS 2008 award goes to ,...

Before we start: All the images i show you are clicable, if you want to see them in full size all you do is to clic, ok :)

Hi, guys it has been a long day for me, and it is just ending, today is friday 23 th, of may it is almost 12:00 P.M and people are just getting out of the campus, main audutorium where from the "Rector excelence award" was taking place. As promised i am making sure this blog is the first on the web to publish the results, and pictures. So i am not sleeping tonight until i give you enough, to make you feel like you are watching it live :).

It has been an amazing evening here in the national university of Rwanda, people came from the capital city Kigali to see for themselve, who will win the contest and be the next queen. At the opening of the auditorium doors, a croud composed mainly of students were rushing in to try get the best places to seat.


The ceremony started with, the presentations of the official sponsors and a lot of Blablabla i prefere to spare you :) let get to the point, who won? i m gonna proceed in order of, giving you the winner girl in last position. For those of you who did not follow the entire story, please read the prvious post, to get introduced to the girls. Let go:
Second runner up : Fanny ( i am not sure the traduction is good 'cause in french it is 2 eme Dauphine):


Did you recongnize her? the name is fanny. And as you can see some will say this beauty deserved the first place but too bad, she came up third.

First runner up ( 1 ere dauphine) : Angel

Angel 22 old, 1 m 80 came up second of the Miss university of Rwanda competition, She did very good but i think, and this is my personal opinion that if she had trained a little bit more on the walking, she could have been first, but never mind, you are all right with me to say a big : CONGRATULATION ! to her :)












Miss elegance : Monica

Here she is, fresh pictures of monica, from 2 hours ago, all flesh, bone and sexy! the new miss elegance of the National University of Rwanda. Congrats to her too, From me and all my reader fans ;)
Miss joliement Rwandaise: Saudah ( Traduction: Miss Cutely Rwandese)
Rwanda is so special , it has it own kind of cuteness, when it comes to beauty matters, reason why in a Rwandese style beauty competition, One of the girls is always Cutest than the others, for this year thie winner girl for this contest is Saudah. CONGRATULATIONS MISS JOLIEMENT RWANDAISE :)




Miss popular: Sandrine

I got a problem, i dont really understand the meaning of being miss popular, i will make some investigation and tell you later, all i know is this girl sandrine actually happen to be the Miss popular of the National University of Rwanda. Congratulation To her.







Finally , as i said in my previous post the last but not the least MISS NUR 2008.
:) UWIMBABAZI SANDRA :)

she Made it, she is now MISS UNIVERSITY OF RWANDA, I cant tell you i knew it would be her, i am not a specialist, but what i can tell you is that i met her early in the afternoon, before the ceremony begins, may be she got her luck from me who know? :) No no she probably met dozen of persons during the afternoon, so .... i can't tell it from me. Anyway She is now the Quenn for one year. CONGRATULATIONS, and as you say in french , Mes Voeux les meilleurs.

Ahhh, one more thing she really can walk like a professional, lol. ;)


Now you know the results, The ceremony took place in the National University Of Rwanda Main campus, it was attended by no less than 3000 people. Congratulation to all who won, good luck to them in achieving their personal dreams, and let them keep make this country always proud of them. It is now 2:45 AM as i am writing, www.rwandabeauty.blogspot.com is the first site to publish the results on the web, 5 hours from the events. Thanks to you my readers, I still have a lot of pictures and stories around them to share with you, keep visiting me, I will make sure you always get your dose of smile and beauty from our country.

P.S . I am gonna go get some sleep now :) Bye.

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The D day has come, today may 22th, 2008

Hello chaps, d day has finally come, the miss campus contest, but i have two news for you, a bad one and a good one, i start by the bad news, i can not take as many pictures as i would have wished to, the good news is i will have pictures anyway.

This event will see 8 beautiful contestants challenging to be crowned the Miss Campus for the Year 2008.

Also invited: Miss Kenya, Miss Uganda, Miss Burundi, Miss Congo, Miss Kigali, Miss Campus NUR 2007, Miss KIST, Miss SFB and Miss Mudende.

This will take place at the Grand Auditorium of the National University of Rwanda (N.U.R) on Friday 23rd May 2008 from 2:00 PM

I am some time a bit of a bastard, i even forgot to make the presentations:

First let me introduce you monica, She is 20 years old, 1 m 74 and she hopes to win the Miss university of Rwanda award.







Then comes, Valentine she is 23 years old 1m 78, and bielieve me or not guys i know her :) all i can wish to her is good luck.









This beautifull and ambitiouis looking girl name is dominique, she is 20 years old, a student in the national university of Rwanda. good luck to her.








What an amazing smile? ;) Let me introduce saudah, 21 old, 1 m 68 tall.
Good luck, to her, if she wins her pictures will cover the internet and this blog for the next 2 month.








Introducing, sandrine 21, 1 m 67 tall, Good luck to her, by the way you can send me an email, to vote for sandrine or any of the girl, the address is wiliambi@hotmail.com, the subject should be "vote" and the message should include the name of the girl you think will win, i am already recieving a lot of emails, i gonna try to make some statistics and publish them by monday, to compare with the real results.





Angel, wouffff, now this is a beautifull smile, angel is 22 old, and 1m 80 tall, she speaks euh... i don't know how many languages, but what i know is she wants to be the next miss NUR. so good luck angel.







Fanny is 21, 1 m 70 tall, and we all happy to have hert in the rat race, or the miss race :) good luck fanny.








The last but not the least, sandra 21, 1 m 70. Good luck to her.










I am done with writing for the moment, you saw, and now try to guess who of these 8 beautys will win the competition, you can send me an email or add a comment to this post, by the end of the day i will post a big picture of the winner girl, so keep in touch ;) and once more thanks for reading.


-----lex-----

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Girls and Hills

I received an email, from a good reader of my blog a few days back, he was asking if Rwanda only has Girls to offer, but no. There is a lot more, espacialy the nature here is incredibely rich and beautifull, as i said in my previous post i will be posting not only girls and miss contest's picftures but also other beutifull things that i am used to seeing all around Rwanda, i ll guide you around by adding short comments like this message to any of my pictures :)

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I am sorry, it did not happen on 9th of may...

hi guys, first i am sorry i did not post what i promised you pictures for the Miss university of Rwanda contest, but it was not actually my fault they suddenly changed the date for the contest, i ll keep you informed but all i know for the moment is that the thing will happen before may 25th. want to apologize to you so, later this day i ll post some more pictures i got from one of my friends computer, beautys picture, but i will also some more pictures of Rwanda in general, so keep watch :)

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